Most remakes I find are incredibly difficult to develop expectations for. Psycho, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, House on Haunted Hill or the Haunting, all did much to develop a prejudice inside me. A prejudice against remakes. It continues to this day. One remake however, I refused to be prejudice towards. Perhaps, in the very back of my mind, I was. But I couldn't focus on that. For once, I was going to go out on a limb and assume a remake had some merit. At the very least, I was giving it a chance. I have long been a fan of the slasher subgenre, and despite the depths to which the genre had previously sank, nothing could turn me away from seeing a new one, even if I had known it would be lousy. My love for slashers, and particularly, the Friday the 13th saga would sway me into a theatre to attend a screening of Friday the 13th, the remake. As mentioned, I had SOME expectations. I was disapointed. However, after more than two years, I could barely remember the film, and after re-discovering my love affair with the F13 franchise, I wanted to see it again, compare it. Finally, I bought the damn thing. For $2.37 at a soon-to-be-closed Blockbuster (RIP). Soon after, I watched it, carefully keeping in mind, what I want, what I expect, and what I would deem acceptable to attempt in a new age Friday the 13th flick. This is my review.
I am "The Fan" of the original movies. I cannot help but compare the 80s to the new age.
The film begins with a bunch of kids going to Crystal Lake. Check. To find marijuana planted in the woods. Good enough. They are all killed rather quickly and we're only 23 mins in! Enter, another group of kids arriving at the lake, prime for butchering. One of them, is a rich jek named Trent, who owns the cottage. But more on him later. Some other guy named Clay is coming around looking for his sister who disappeared. After Trent acts like a dick, he leaves while the lead girl Jenna follows along to help him look. We meet a whole group of kids pretty fast and they are all a collection of stereotypes, none are likable, minus our two leads who spend most of the movie searching for Whitney (Clay's sister). They all die. Whitney is found to be held captive, (yes) by Jason, she is rescued, though the main girl Jenna, dies, in somewhat of a surprise end.
There are some things I liked. The first shot of Jason is creepy enough. Very effective. Some of the kills are inventive. Plenty of hot girls in the cast.
There is more I didn't like. In the 80s films, most characters, in one way or another, are likable. Not here. You'll be begging for them to die. Trent for example, is a jerk throughout the whole movie. A total asshole. He gets to have sex with the hottest chick and you know he enjoys himself. You also know you want him dead. And die he does but not soon enough. All I can think of are the memorable characters from the 80s portrayed by the lkes of Crispin Glover, Corey Feldman, John Furey, and so much more. None of these people are very memorable. None are likable. The kids will not entertain you the way they did in the good old 80s.You want them dead.
I thought it was rather bold that in they did this first movie with Jason as the killer. Not mommie dearest. Automatically, that makes this film a reboot rather than a remake. And that is risky. Rather than build up Jason as a legend/myth over several installments, as they did back in the 80s, they attempt it all in the first few minutes, and it just doesnt work the same. Jason himself, is swifter, but that seems foreign to me. He was always more patient back in the 80s......
The movie was "praised" for it's creative kills, but few are all that creative, and it becomes clear that this movie is just set up for overlong kill sequences. The most contrived situations are set up to seperate characters, allowing them to be murdered. This "reboot" is better than other reboots or remakes for the most part, and its not a horrible film. But it doesn't feel like a Friday the 13th film. Jason Voorhees was an 80s icon. There was a way of making those types of movies back then and it doesn't translate well with the way they are doing it today. Slasher films are ordinarily beefed up in running time, the emphasis put on gore and how many seconds a death scene can last. They tried to do something different with a slasher film, but thats the one formula in ALL movies that you don't fuck with. Slasher is a standard formula with slightly different results. These movies are supposed to be roller coaster rides. The fact that Jason would imprison ANYONE (even if they look like mommy) completley betrays Jason as a character. Sure they may be building a new one, but that excuse does not suffice. Jason has an underground network of tunnels and paths and somehow I just can't accept that either. It just ain't Jason. But you know what? Jason didn't have it as bad as Leatherface or Freddy when it came to remakes. TWO STARS OUT OF FIVE
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