FINAL EXAM (1981)

Recently, I was reading the new Horrorhound magazine, the issue going with the theme of celebrating 1981, a year where one too many horror films were released. I noticed one in particular called Final Exam. The poster spoke right to me. I had to see this movie. I knew buying it was out of the question as it was obscure and I as a true horror fan had never even heard of it. A little bit of research confirmed that. Released on VHS in the late 80s and once more on DVD, a DVD that is thankfully out of print.

Yes, very thankfully out of print. This movie is among the worst I have seen. Worst of the 80s slasher films. This film is so bad, it never even pretends to be good. The acting is non-existant, the plot seems lacking, even for a slasher film and the dialogue is atrocious. Strictly a Z-grade horror movie. Whats worse is that much of the movie is personal drama, the story expecting us to become involved at some level, even though the acting is so terrible that no one possibly could. And this goes on for the first half of the film, if not more. There is a sub-plot of college rivalry, an old legend about a girl who killed herself because she was refused entry into a snob fraternity. The male lead seems to be romantically after the female lead, even though he sounds and behaves as though he is a homosexual stereotype of the era. A couple of jocks perform idiotic stunts throughout, finally they are killed and shoved into lockers. Very creative. A couple of somewhat clever moments at the end of the film, and by clever I mean creepy, are ruined because the killer looks like some sort of robotic, emo Anton Chigurh. A killer, who's identity and motivation are not even discussed and ultimately never revealed. Wow. What a sign of a bad movie. It doesn't even attempt to explain it's purpose as a film. A couple of idiots must have got together with $50 and thrown this piece of shit together. This movie is bad on every level. The most interesting scene is when the main chick is using a vending machine to buy Pepsi, and thats because I was looking to see how the cans looked back in 1981. Now, I am a movie lover. I watch my films in one sitting. Very rarely do I allow them to be interupted for any significant amount of time. This was impossible to finish in one go. It was that bad. It took several days. I love the poster but the movie is garbage. Enough said. ONE STAR OUT OF FIVE