FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3 (1982)

Summer of slashers continues at CotF. Back in the beloved 80s, the slasher film enjoyed it's best days. In the earlier part of the decade, there had been a rebirth of 3D in the cinema. We were "treated" to the likes of Jaws 3D, Amityville 3D (which I haven't seen) and one in particular that I have seen many, many times: Friday the 13th Part 3D, as it was originally called. By no means a masterpiece of the genre, Part 3 can take solace in being one of the best horror films to be in 3D. The film has for sure, one of my favourite posters of all time, and how could one not like it? Friday the 13th IS an 80s franchise. The first two were released in the 80s, but they had a 70s-80s transitory feel to them, though they ultimatley come out 80s. Regardless, when one views part 3, they will see the 80s more than in the previous two films. Of course, the 80s was not yet in full swing and was still establishing itself as a decade, much like the young slasher film was establishing it's rules. Somewhere between Part 2 and 3, the rules were truly set. Smoking pot, having sex, being mean in any way, these things bought you a ticket to being viciously murdered.

Part 3 commits a sin that early Friday films were notorious for: Showing the end of the previous movie. Somehow, given that these films were meant to be viewed just once, I forgive it. The opening credits begin, in tacky 3D and with creepy disco music, something that today is just funny. The film opens around a convenience store, where Jason is hiding after the murders of part 2. Here, the movie is really slow in getting started as it takes Jason forever to murder the husband and wife owners. Finally they are murdered and we meet a new group of teens. Up for slaughter, among others, is Shelly the nerd, his room mate Andy, the room mate's pregnant girlfriend, Debbie (this caused controversy back in 82) and a spoof of Tommy Chong. We even get to see a gang of bikers offed at one point. With the Chong character on board, It quickly becomes obvious that marijuana plays a more prominent role in this third film than in the previous two. Rarely does a scene go by with this character not smoking a joint.

Obligatory "final girl" Chris Higgins takes them all up to her cottage, "Higgins Haven" where she meets her boyfriend Rick, a character who is reserved to handle the film's worst dialogue. He succeeds. Obviously, the kids are all knocked off one by one and the J man even acquires his trademark hockey mask in the process. While her friends are being stabbed, speared in the eye or stomach, electrocuted, or having a knife shoved through their throat, Chris tells Rick of an earlier time when she was attacked and possibly raped, in one of the creepiest scenes in cinematic history, or at least in the 80s. Too bad it is a flashback sequence. Or maybe too good. Rick is killed of course, and the final chase scene lives up to expectations. Tense, relentless and full of energy, it's all over too quickly. Jason is dead and Chris is the only survivor. After a horrifying dream sequence, we see Chris has gone mental. Completley, in her most convincing piece of acting throughout the flick. A total nervous wreck.

The quality of film in part 3 is poor, probably due to the 3D process. The main fault I have with this otherwise perfect slasher entry is that the pre-murder pacing scenes are somewhat drawn out. It often takes Jason too long to murder these little bastards. It's not annoying to the point we'll see in some other films, but is noticabley longer than in 1 and 2. The film contains a few pointless and dull scenes that only beef up the running time. An alternate ending was filmed in which Jason decapitates Chris and emerges victorious, but that is now considered lost footage. What I would give to see that.

I haven't nearly as much to say about this chapter as I do about the next two, 3 just doesn't have as much fun trivia behind it as the others. Virtually everything in this movie is a step down from 1 and 2 and for that, it is worse than it's predecessors, but still better than Avatar. Richard Brooker fills the bill as Jason, and at the end of the day thats what we want. So, to this movie I rate: THREE STARS OUT OF FIVE

FINAL EXAM (1981)

Recently, I was reading the new Horrorhound magazine, the issue going with the theme of celebrating 1981, a year where one too many horror films were released. I noticed one in particular called Final Exam. The poster spoke right to me. I had to see this movie. I knew buying it was out of the question as it was obscure and I as a true horror fan had never even heard of it. A little bit of research confirmed that. Released on VHS in the late 80s and once more on DVD, a DVD that is thankfully out of print.

Yes, very thankfully out of print. This movie is among the worst I have seen. Worst of the 80s slasher films. This film is so bad, it never even pretends to be good. The acting is non-existant, the plot seems lacking, even for a slasher film and the dialogue is atrocious. Strictly a Z-grade horror movie. Whats worse is that much of the movie is personal drama, the story expecting us to become involved at some level, even though the acting is so terrible that no one possibly could. And this goes on for the first half of the film, if not more. There is a sub-plot of college rivalry, an old legend about a girl who killed herself because she was refused entry into a snob fraternity. The male lead seems to be romantically after the female lead, even though he sounds and behaves as though he is a homosexual stereotype of the era. A couple of jocks perform idiotic stunts throughout, finally they are killed and shoved into lockers. Very creative. A couple of somewhat clever moments at the end of the film, and by clever I mean creepy, are ruined because the killer looks like some sort of robotic, emo Anton Chigurh. A killer, who's identity and motivation are not even discussed and ultimately never revealed. Wow. What a sign of a bad movie. It doesn't even attempt to explain it's purpose as a film. A couple of idiots must have got together with $50 and thrown this piece of shit together. This movie is bad on every level. The most interesting scene is when the main chick is using a vending machine to buy Pepsi, and thats because I was looking to see how the cans looked back in 1981. Now, I am a movie lover. I watch my films in one sitting. Very rarely do I allow them to be interupted for any significant amount of time. This was impossible to finish in one go. It was that bad. It took several days. I love the poster but the movie is garbage. Enough said. ONE STAR OUT OF FIVE

FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009)

Most remakes I find are incredibly difficult to develop expectations for. Psycho, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, House on Haunted Hill or the Haunting, all did much to develop a prejudice inside me. A prejudice against remakes. It continues to this day. One remake however, I refused to be prejudice towards. Perhaps, in the very back of my mind, I was. But I couldn't focus on that. For once, I was going to go out on a limb and assume a remake had some merit. At the very least, I was giving it a chance. I have long been a fan of the slasher subgenre, and despite the depths to which the genre had previously sank, nothing could turn me away from seeing a new one, even if I had known it would be lousy. My love for slashers, and particularly, the Friday the 13th saga would sway me into a theatre to attend a screening of Friday the 13th, the remake. As mentioned, I had SOME expectations. I was disapointed. However, after more than two years, I could barely remember the film, and after re-discovering my love affair with the F13 franchise, I wanted to see it again, compare it. Finally, I bought the damn thing. For $2.37 at a soon-to-be-closed Blockbuster (RIP). Soon after, I watched it, carefully keeping in mind, what I want, what I expect, and what I would deem acceptable to attempt in a new age Friday the 13th flick. This is my review.

I am "The Fan" of the original movies. I cannot help but compare the 80s to the new age.

The film begins with a bunch of kids going to Crystal Lake. Check. To find marijuana planted in the woods. Good enough. They are all killed rather quickly and we're only 23 mins in! Enter, another group of kids arriving at the lake, prime for butchering. One of them, is a rich jek named Trent, who owns the cottage. But more on him later. Some other guy named Clay is coming around looking for his sister who disappeared. After Trent acts like a dick, he leaves while the lead girl Jenna follows along to help him look. We meet a whole group of kids pretty fast and they are all a collection of stereotypes, none are likable, minus our two leads who spend most of the movie searching for Whitney (Clay's sister). They all die. Whitney is found to be held captive, (yes) by Jason, she is rescued, though the main girl Jenna, dies, in somewhat of a surprise end.

There are some things I liked. The first shot of Jason is creepy enough. Very effective. Some of the kills are inventive. Plenty of hot girls in the cast. 

There is more I didn't like. In the 80s films, most characters, in one way or another, are likable. Not here. You'll be begging for them to die. Trent for example, is a jerk throughout the whole movie. A total asshole. He gets to have sex with the hottest chick and you know he enjoys himself. You also know you want him dead. And die he does but not soon enough. All I can think of are the memorable characters from the 80s portrayed by the lkes of Crispin Glover, Corey Feldman, John Furey, and so much more. None of these people are very memorable. None are likable. The kids will not entertain you the way they did in the good old 80s.You want them dead.

I thought it was rather bold that in they did this first movie with Jason as the killer. Not mommie dearest. Automatically, that makes this film a reboot rather than a remake. And that is risky. Rather than build up Jason as a legend/myth over several installments, as they did back in the 80s, they attempt it all in the first few minutes, and it just doesnt work the same. Jason himself, is swifter, but that seems foreign to me. He was always more patient back in the 80s......

The movie was "praised" for it's creative kills, but few are all that creative, and it becomes clear that this movie is just set up for overlong kill sequences. The most contrived situations are set up to seperate characters, allowing them to be murdered. This "reboot" is better than other reboots or remakes for the most part, and its not a horrible film. But it doesn't feel like a Friday the 13th film. Jason Voorhees was an 80s icon. There was a way of making those types of movies back then and it doesn't translate well with the way they are doing it today. Slasher films are ordinarily beefed up in running time, the emphasis put on gore and how many seconds a death scene can last. They tried to do something different with a slasher film, but thats the one formula in ALL movies that you don't fuck with. Slasher is a standard formula with slightly different results. These movies are supposed to be roller coaster rides. The fact that Jason would imprison ANYONE (even if they look like mommy) completley betrays Jason as a character. Sure they may be building a new one, but that excuse does not suffice. Jason has an underground network of tunnels and paths and somehow I just can't accept that either. It just ain't Jason. But you know what? Jason didn't have it as bad as Leatherface or Freddy when it came to remakes. TWO STARS OUT OF FIVE

TERROR TRAIN (1980)

The summer of slashers continues at Cinema of the Fantastic. I've decided to review exclusively slasher films this summer and will review a few inbetween my Friday the 13th capsules.

Throughout horror's history, the term "SCREAM QUEEN" or "SCREAM SIREN" has often been used to describe an actress who has appeared in several important horror films. Jamie Lee Curtis was one such actress, and inbetween the classic HALLOWEEN and the not-so-classic PROM NIGHT, she lent her talent to a fairly well-known, though not as mainstream horror flick called TERROR TRAIN. She made herself the queen of slasher flicks in my opinion. While TERROR TRAIN is not quite HALLOWEEN, it is a notable slasher flick and is essential viewing for the horror hound. Even if it's not too great. It's one that has yet to be remade, but one wonders how long it will be before that changes.

The film begins with a bunch of college kids playing a gruesome practical joke on a total misfit, who goes insane and is locked away in a mental institute. Fast forward three years to a group of college graduates celebrating the begining of a costume party train trip. One has a Groucho Marx mask of all things. He is the first to be dispatched. And slowly, others follow. The main target being those kids who played that horrible prank a few years back. Much of the film is just kids dancing and personal drama and I lost interest several times throughout. However, I gained some of that interest back, over and over again even though the film moved very slowly. Finally, comes the ending. The payoff. TERROR TRAIN is ultimately saved by it's finale. It's fast, intense, nail-biting slasher action, just what I was begging for the whole movie. It's hard to say much without giving away the ending, but it's easy to call the killer once you're watching. I reccomend it for even the occasional horror fan, it's certainly better than the garbage being churned out these days. THREE STARS OUT OF FIVE.

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2 (1981)

"Jasons a legend Ginny, a legend". And so he has become. The year is 2011. This summer marks 10 years since I became heavily interested in the Friday the 13th films and in order to mark this anniversary, I will, and must, review ALL 8 films. Thats right, I said 8. Never mind that New Line drivel. I'm talking the original eight Paramount films which built the legacy of Jason Voorhees, a masked killer that no 80s rival could keep up with in terms of movies made. Last September, I reviewed the original slasher classic Friday the 13th, so one is done and seven to go. We begin this great summer (and end a long CotF hiatus) with a great movie! I shall attempt to review the remaining Friday films at a slow pace, so I can write them throughout the length of the summer. That just feels more right to me rather than rush them out all within a week or two.

Friday 2, almost picks up where the first left off. Alice Hardy the heroine of the original, is dispatched by an unknown spectre after finding a head in her fridge. Fast forward through an awesome opening credits and five years, and another group of counselors in training is getting set for their journey to Crystal Lake. Not the original campsite, but perilously close. The camp director is Paul Holt, a likable lead for a film. He is frustrated when girlfriend Ginny arrives late but no matter. By night time he is telling his subordinates the legend of Jason Voorhees around a creepy campfire. Everyone is safe, for tonight. It is not until the second night when the carnage truly begins. We are treated to a slashed throat or two, a machete in the face, double-impaling during sex and so forth. As with the first review, we all know the familiar formula with these films. As in the original, the begining of the thunderstorm is superbly shot and creates a perfect atmosphere that $200 million worth of CGI effects usually fails to buy. Of great note is the end sequence, with final girl Ginny, in an epic Jason chase, perhaps the most epic in a slasher film. The final chase is well done and is somewhat nerve racking.

One case of this review, is just how unique this film is from other slasher films. In 1981, the formula of the slasher film was still finding it's groove. Rules had been set somewhat, but nothing was yet concrete. Part 2 certainly is an exception to many films of it's kind. For one, the most annoying character, LIVES! Yes. Ginny, the most intelligent girl to ever fight Jason Voorhees, has implied sex towards the begining of the film! No lie. Ginny and Paul Holt have amazing chemistry that you wouldn't expect in a slasher film. No seriously, they work well with one another. These examples perhaps seem trivial, pointless to mention, but given the context and the generally accepted rules of slasher flicks, I believe it merits mention. The film is also unique among the Jason outings in that it is the only film where our hero is without his hockey mask (Unless you count the dream at the end of part one, I don't, it's a dream). Regardless, it is a fact of the 80s that this film stands out for a few simple, if not immediatley noticeable reasons. It's hard to believe 30 years have gone by since this slasher epic.

There are a few "different" things about this picture as well. After an early possible half-tribute to Psycho, we see that Jason makes a phone call. We see Jason's "house", and I use that term loosely. We even see him cower from a chainsaw (this is before he was undead). A clever shot of a dog walking up to Jason early in the film switches right away to hot dogs being barbecued, always getting a slight scoff out of me. One thing I always notice is the improvement of the dialogue over the first film. It feels more natural. MOST of the actors are better and they should be, considering Paramount tripled the budget from the first. I love this movie.

Recently, I've taken notice of Roger Ebert's hate campaign against these films when they were new. I have much to say about this, but I would prefer to talk about it in a recap, at summer's end. It's not perfect, it has it's faults, oh believe me, but it is best to think of this film as an automatic reactionary piece, made to generate a few bucks and scares rather than to contribute to modern art. These movies were made to be seen once. Paramount had no idea they could milk this cash cow as much as they have and continue to do, along with New Line and Platinum Dunes with the sub-par remake and the obvious sequels to come. Part 2 was a commercial success with $21 million, but it's receipts were still barely half of the original. Thank the Lord they continued to make them. Part 2 MIGHT be my favourite Friday, but parts one and four offer steady competition. So there it is, my first true review in a long time. If you're getting into summer vacation slasher mode, why not pop this fucker in your VCR, DVD, or perhaps even Blu Ray player? FOUR STARS OUT OF FIVE.

                                                           ORIGINAL, LOST POSTER